Memorial Service 12/18/10

To Kate's friends,

I wanted to share with you part of my eulogy to Kate, but it was long & now feels so personal. I am sharing a poem that was read at the end of the service

FOR THOSE I LOVE, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE ME

When I am gone, release me let me go.

I have so many things to see & do.

You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears.

Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love. You can only guess how much you gave me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown.

But now it’s time I travel on alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must.

And let your grief be comforted by trust.

It’s only for a while that we must part.

So bless the memories that lie within your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on.

So if you need me, call & I will come.

If you can’t see me or touch me, know I’ll be near.

If you listen with your heart, you will hear all of my love around you soft & clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone….

I’ll greet you with a smile & say “Welcome home.”

Our Kate

This sad message is to all of you from Pat, her mom, & Rob, her husband,

Our beloved Kate passed away on Sunday, December 12 at about 8:45 in the morning. She is finally at peace at last.

We will let you know more information about her celebration of life services coming up this weekend.

I know she would have loved to talked to all you before she left us. Know that she spoke about many of you with great joy & stories often to her family & was glad to have so many caring friends.

Pat and Rob

Very sad news

This is Pat, Kate's mom, writing again to all of you for Kate. Hi to everyone that has wanted to keep up on what is happening with Kate & our 22 month journey with cancer. I am so sorry to give you bad news that has been coming for some time.

Kate is very sick & the physicians & specialists have all said that there is no further treatment they can do for her. They believe she has pancreatic cancer & that is what has been causing all the secondary problems of vomiting, extreme weight loss & fluid in her abdomen. The best that can be done now & in the future is help her be very comfortable at all times. We don't know when she will pass away from all of us--it just depends upon her body's ability to keep functioning despite her disease. Right now she is able to keep down popscicles & an occasional frappachino (eggnog is her favorite) if she takes it down very slow. Rob, I and her family are all spending time with her in the hospital so she knows she is loved. Right now she is still receiving IV medication for nausea so she will be staying in the hospital at Vacaville Kaiser for the time being. Friends are visiting only for very short periods. Thereafter she will be going to in-home hospice & will be able to be with her loving cats & family at home. Rob & I will learn how to give medications IV & be supervised by the hospice nurses who will be available 24 hrs/7 days & a hospice specialist MD will supervise everything.

I am sure many of you would like to send messages to Kate. I will do my best to make copies of your responses & read them to her or give them to her to read.

I will keep you all updated since I know that all of you care for her & she wants you to know she cares for you too. Keep Kate in your thoughts & prayers.

Pat

Hi Everyone. It's Kate's mom, Pat, writing to you for Kate. I'll try to give you enough information in her blog like she does. She wanted to keep you all up to date about what is happening. Kate went into the hospital in the beginning October to remove fluid from her abdominal cavity. They did put a cannula needle into her abdomen after carefully looking to see where all the fluid was located by an ultrasound imaging. On 10/9 they took out 5 1/2 liters of fluid. She felt so much better. Three days later her MD took out 7 more liters (think 2-liter soda bottles) but it was too much--that much fluid loss pulls fluid from her veins & arteries such that she had severe pain & cramping beyond belief. Her pain meds were increased & she started to feel better but had difficulty eating much more than a couple bites of sandwich or a juice box. They had to change her pain meds because she started hallucinating (without LSD :)) & became very confused. So her pain meds were changed again. After 3 weeks she came home but was having real problems keeping food down--even the special nutrition through her feeding tube. So the radiology doctors had a tube put into her abdomen so she could herself slowly drain fluid from her abdomen so she wasn't in pain on Thurs. But on Friday she couldn't keep anything down.....so back to the hospital in Vacaville she went. An X-ray showed she might have an obstruction in her intestine so she had another tube put down her nose & throat into her stomach to drain out bile & fluids (which helps digest food) so she stops throwing up. [Sorry for all the nasty details]. The doctor & a consulting surgeon do not believe the obstruction is cancer--THANK GOD! And it worked! She's able now to take in fluids, jello, & ice chips without losing it all. She's going to have another X-ray tomorrow. The doctors want to see that any closure of her intestines has gone away. Today she was walking around the huge nursing station, talking to everyone & able to stay out of bed for at least 5 hours. We were able to laugh about things & I am so happy to see her back to being close to herself. Her pain meds are in control & she won't leave the hospital until she can take in nutrition by mouth & tube.

I know she thanks all of you for your support, concern & prayers. There is one more step we need to take to fighting her cancer. Yes, they found cancer cells in the fluid taken from her abdomen & her blood tests indicate she has cancer again. Her PET scan & CT scan were inconclusive. Cancer is such a terrible disease--normal cells growing out of control! Her oncologist wants to get her back on chemotherapy once she gets stronger to fight off this disease (chemo worked last year to stop progress of cancer). Rob her husband & all her family are all there to help support her. Please add your support & loving concerns too to this long hard fight.

She would laughingly tell you she's now 196 lbs. & has no fat on her body. She is still our beautiful Kate no matter what size she has become. We're looking forward to having her home soon--maybe before Thanksgiving. Her wonderful sister-in-law is taking over the job of a traditional meal for the whole family. Her grandfather from Arizona is coming to be with her for her birthday on Nov. 30. I won't tell you her age, but it's a major milestone.

I will try to keep everyone updated until Kate can write her own posts--hopefully soon! I'm so proud of her keeping up her will & determination to keep fighting in her own quiet way.

Thank you all for your posts & support! And also to Rob who works long hours & is there for her at the end of the day no matter how tired he has become.

Love to all of Kate's supporters, family & friends.

Pat

Sadness and Relief

I just read my dear friend Mary's blog and her brother wrote that she passed away today at 2:45cst. I am so very thankful that her pain and suffering is over I just didn't think that she would pass so fast going into hospice care.

I'm grateful she was a loving wife and was given the gift of being a mommy to their adopted little girl Annika. I will miss her like mad and am sad I didn't get to talk to or see her in her final hours. She is with God and the world will miss her.

What a day

I read my girlfriend Mary's site that keeps family and friends up to date on her condition. Today was bad news. Last night they, Mary and Jerry, decided that her body can fight no longer and they aren't going to take anymore precautions to slow the cancer down. I'm so tired of crying, I never thought that this would happen so soon, not to my Mary.

I met Mary in college around 1992 and when we're together it's as though we've never been apart. I hate that I can't go see her before pain and suffering ends, I'm just glad that it will be over for her. She's fought a good fight and now it's time to let her body be at peace. To think that last year before she found out she had everything she has ever wanted. An awesome loving husband and a brand new baby girl, Annika, who they adopted Jan. of '08. Just kills me that she won't remember her mommy, I sure hope that the family and friends remind her everyday of what her mommy looked like and later in life all the fabulous things she did.

Mary was my maid of honor and she rocked!!! We spent a week together before the wedding, I think Rob was jealous of our relationship, well that and we hadn't seen each other in a few years. She has touched so many lives and have only made their lives better for knowing her. During the week she was here we called her Navy Seal Mary as there was nothing that she couldn't do or find out how to do it.

She will be in my mind , heart, thoughts and prayers that this last transition goes easily.
I love you Mary!!!
Kate